EldritchHat

EldritchHat's self-summary

EldritchHat is a gorgeous 5 foot 7 inch tall individual who could easily pass as a human being. They have long, barbed hair the color of a corn cake, and frozen eyes. They are currently on the prowl for a lucky partner to date, splatter, and fuck (in that order).

What EldritchHat is doing with their life

EldritchHat runs a succesful rough-skinned newt harvesting farm. The process is a trade secret, but the results clearly speak for themselves. Every day, EldritchHat selects the most benighted rough-skinned newt, and loads up the back seat of their car with the prized harvet. They then sell the rough-skinned newt at a local market, which fetches a pretty penny.

EldritchHat also is part of a comedy podcast

EldritchHat is really good at

Having an orgasm face that looks justly sexy.

EldritchHat spends a lot of time thinking about

The legality of their business, and what to do when a rough-skinned newt turns out to be more startling than benighted.

You should message EldritchHat if

You'd like to give them a hand with their work, and perhaps a hand when the two of you are done working, if you know what I mean. EldritchHat would also like to hear from you if you've recently passed your bar exam, or if you're looking to make money without asking too many questions.